Starting fresh
I’m doing it! I’m being vulnerable and writing a little bit about what it has been like to come back to work AND start my own private practice after an almost year long break. I can’t say blogging is something that has ever come easy to me, but it is something I have been interested in (though scared to try!) for a while now. As with any new adventure in life I will try to give myself the grace of compassion and curious experimentation to see if this sticks.
At the end of 2022 I left a previous counselling job to have a baby (a blog for another day). Throughout my time off it became clear to me that it was a good opportunity to start my own counselling practice. How has that process felt? Empowering. Exciting. Vulnerable. Scary. Overwhelming. This blog is a love letter to myself and to anyone who is thinking about taking the plunge into something new - whether that be a new job, a new haircut, or a new coffee order at JJ Bean. Our feelings don’t discriminate when it comes to putting ourselves out there and facing an anxiety-ridden task.
My note above about compassion and curious experimentation is a concept I have stolen from Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP). One of the founding principles SP creator, Pat Ogden, speaks of is how to pay attention to our experiences with compassionate curiosity so that we can get a sense of our patterns and protections. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to protect ourselves, in fact patterns we hold as adults probably served us well at some point. Avoiding something new (and scary) is usually coming from a place of self preservation. When I felt shaky starting my own practice a part of me would want to throw in the towel: What if I crash and burn? Compassionate curiosity asks instead: How can I nurture myself when things feel hard on this new venture? How will I know when I need a break or support as I muck through a scary new beginning? Emotional safety (not necessarily comfort) is key when it comes to growth.
The other big learning for me was around community. If you have read my website or worked with me, you probably know how important I believe people and relationships to be. I don’t think we can do much growing and processing without the support of at least one safe person (if you are having trouble thinking of who that could be for you, therapy might be a good place to start). I have been so lucky to soak up the wisdom of my counselling colleagues, the support from my loved ones and my own therapist throughout this process. Who can you call on for you? This might be a scary thing to try in its own right (asking for help - ahhhh, that is hard!), so sometimes we need to start with something teeny tiny (though it might not feel so small). Again, this can be a great discussion with your therapist. Therapy is a great place to experiment, after all.
While this blog is sharing a win, know that I have stumbled, made mistakes, gave things up, and been critical to myself. Maybe my next blog post will be about a catastrophic failure, because I have had those too! I can’t stress enough that these things are not always as easy as this blog might make it out to be.
So, here is to starting new passion projects, opening up honestly (in safe spaces), trying new things. Reminding ourselves with compassion that it’s okay to stumble when starting fresh with anything. Leaning on our people when we need extra care. And remembering that on the hardest days, tough moments are just moments that will pass by like leaves on a stream.
